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No Powers Club: Nick Fury

Posted, Tuesday Apr,29

No Powers Club: Nick FuryWell, we all can’t shoot lasers out of our eyes and fly. Some guys are just regular ass dudes that want to make a difference. We spotlight them here in a series we like to call the NO POWERS CLUB. We salute you, normal guys. Set to resurface in Marvel’s Skrull kill-fest SECRET INVASION, the most secret agent of them all Nick Fury is back! He is no Avenger, but he has something the other guys don’t – experience. The eye patch helps, though.

ORIGINAL GANGSTER: There are really only a few guys that can say they have been around as long as Fury. Gunning down Jerry back in WWII, Fury got his start back before most heroes were even born. Thanks to the Infinity Formula, Fury never had his skin shrivel and had move into the old folks home with the rest of the geezers. The handy elixir lets him still snarl and bark orders even though he is well into his 90s. That, and he makes white temples look totally badass.

HOWLIN’ HOMEBOYS: Back in the war, Fury’s crew were the roughest guys in the game. Fury and his Howling Commandos led some of the ballsiest campaigns in the European theater. Sometimes teaming with Captain America and Bucky, their fire spitting Thompsons capped more fascists than just about anybody. Fury still managed to lose his eye during his Howling days, but hey, I bet he took some of those bastards with him.

AGENT OF A.W.E.S.O.M.E.: What would S.H.I.E.L.D. be without Fury? A bunch of weirdoes in blue spandex, that’s what. As the former director of the world’s peacekeeping organization, Fury used to greenlight everything from black ops assassinations to mobilizing the Avengers into action. After Brian Michael Bendis’s SECRET WAR, Fury was forced into hiding, relinquishing his needle gun to Maria Hill. Now that he is coming back, maybe he will show that punk Tony Stark who’s man. No doubt we will be VERY grumpy, no matter the outcome.

SALUTE THE EYEPATCH: When you knock around with dudes that have the power of gods, it’s hard to command respect. Somehow Fury gets the big boys to obey their superior officer. Never afraid to tell a hero to stuff it and follow protocol, Fury knows just when to lay down the law, but knows even better when to pull out his pistols and join in. Either way, no one ever questions Fury’s judgement, because more than likely he is ten steps ahead of you, so he’s probably right. Scratch that, he’s ALWAYS right. You can do that sort of thing when you are the only 33rd degree S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

FURIOUS SKILLS: He may be an old man, but he can kick your ass before you know what hit you. 70 years of military experience will teach you a thing or two about fighting. Not only is Nick an expert at hand to hand, he’ll get you with almost every weapon known to man, including your own intestines (check out Garth Ennis’s FURY series to see what I mean). If it shoots some kind of ballistic, Fury is surgical with it. His S.H.I.E.L.D. issue gadgets give him the edge as well. From his flying cars to his Life Model Decoy androids, his arsenal is like a Sharper Image catalogue on horse steroids. Pretty much, he James Bond without the fruity suits and English elitism.

Tune in next time when we take a closer look at another hero that speaks for the normal dude in all of us.

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